Everyone is talking about menopause.

Finally!

photo by Emma Simpson

Mine is the generation that is actually saying the word out loud, admitting it, investigating it, exploring it, fully. Menopause. Menopause. Menopause!

Menfolk, trigger warning: this is candid.

Me? I’m in perimenopause, that decade prior to menopause. So like ten years ago when I was losing my grip on reality, gaining belly fat for the first time in my life, not sleeping, that was all part and parcel of this hormonal journey, but no one told me! I thought I was ill, or perhaps had early onset Alzheimers, or whatnot. Seriously, I asked my primary care physician for a screening. Just imagine if the generation before mine had spoken up, I would have understood that these symptoms, as well as all the others that have since cropped up, are normal. Perfectly normal. I’ve determined the more we speak about it, learn about it, share our journeys, the better off we all are, and the better off our offspring will be. So let’s do this.

My menopause journey looks like my own, not yours, not anyone else’s, but! I want to share with you all that I’ve learned. And food is part of this. I did a deep dive to get as much information as possible so that I could help myself and anyone else who’s looking for guidance. Here’s what I did, so that you don’t have to:

I attended a menopause webinar with the head of ObGyn / Menopause at Kaiser, had phone appointments with her (which I gained through a backdoor that I’ll tell you about as she’s very difficult to get in with), did a 4-part webinar on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) around menopause, as well as a 3-part webinar on Sleep (sleeplessness, really.) I ran everything through my resident nutritionist, aka my daughter, Olive, who’s studying nutrition at CalPoly, in case she saw any problematic details. She’s very cautious about how we talk about our bodies, as women, which I respect - it’s easy to denigrate our changing shapes instead of loving them. Disordered eating is the last thing we need to deal with as perimenopausal women!

My journey in this is slightly different as I’m a breast cancer survivor. And this, my friends, was my backdoor to get the head of Gynecology at Kaiser to be my ObGyn. Yep, my oncologist got me in. Hey, silver linings, right?

As a result of being a cancer survivor though, I’m not really a candidate for Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT). Look, if shit gets bad, we’ll consider those treatments, but for now, my ObGyn and I are trying alternatives. And only things that have been scientifically vetted. I’ll go down the list symptom by symptom to share with you what has worked for me. If you have other symptoms that I have not listed, it’s probably because I’ve forgotten (duh, menopause brain fog!!) so comment and we’ll keep it going!

• Hot flashes - 100 mg gabapentin in the AM, 200 in the PM before bed

• Brain fog - less caffeine intake, monthly 24 hour fasting, daily mindfulness meditation

• High LDL cholesterol: ground flax seeds, red rice yeast extract daily, cutting down on avocado and other deliciously fatty foods (like the coconut oil that I was adding to everything!)

• Grumpiness / shitty attitude: one St. John's Wort in the AM and one in the PM. Also consider microdosing LSD or mushrooms. Seriously. If you need help sourcing, comment and I’ll try to direct you.

• Hair loss - My ObGyn recommended nonoxynol directly on the scalp, or ingested, if it gets bad. I’m sticking with biotin and collagen daily, and it’s working for me.

• Loss of libido - porn? And Maca. For breast cancer survivors, check with your own ObGyn to see if Maca is ok for you. It’s ok for me.

• Vaginal atrophy - stick something in there 2 - 3x week. No, like literally: fingers, dildos, penises, whatever you’ve got. Do it.

• Loss of collagen in skin: eliminate all the chemicals from your skincare and source high quality, natural products. Add collagen to your diet. If you have the money, do a laser treatment called a photofacial that helps the skin build more collagen, after it heals from what feels like a major sunburn. Yep, this voyage is a commitment.

• Bone density, muscle loss - lift heavy weights 3x week, take a small dose of Creatine daily

• “menobelly” - maybe the saddest news I received: eat less! Seriously, my ObGyn said to cut out 300 calories per day from my normal diet. Also monthly 24 hour fasting really does help with this. P.S. Did you know that the belly fat we get during menopause is there to protect our female organs? It serves a purpose, so rather than hate it, try loving it?

• Sleeplessness - Gabapentin because it lowers the amount of hot flashes (or eliminates them completely). Take Vit D daily and Magnesium nightly. If you’re getting up to urinate in the middle of the night, try replacing 12 ounces of water with electrolytes during the day.

• Best food to abate symptoms: Eat smaller dinners that have minimal carbohydrates so mostly protein and vegetables, and eat at least 3 hours before bedtime. Eat lots of protein, lots of fermented foods, cutting out as much sugar (alcohol!) as possible, and make sure you’re eating high quality, nutrient-dense foods.

I’d love to hear what you’ve tried: what has worked and what has not? What symptoms did I forget?

And how do you feel about the fact that we peri- and menopausal women are in the fucking prime of our lives? Yes we are. We are luscious, wise, compassionate, strong, centered, grounded, all more so today than ever before. We need to own this, to feel completely in our power, taking up space, and ending behaviors that our younger selves engaged in like people-pleasing, things that don’t serve ourselves or our world.

To my male friends and family, thank you for bearing with me, reading this all the way to the end, and for supporting us through our journeys.

And as my own journey evolves, and I learn more and more, I will be sharing, so that we can all benefit from the info! Share with me what has worked for you!

By the way, if you didn’t think menopause was in the mainstream, Oprah is hosting this:

https://www.oprahdaily.com/life/health/a43327739/life-you-want-menopause/